Emo crap?

Lately I have been having a tough time with my emotions. 

Are they generated by my age, or are they generated by my medical issues currently, or are they generated by some other unidentified source?  Well, obviously if I am asking the questions, I don't know.

I just know that I am more emotional than I have been in a long time, both in the highs of enjoyment and excitement, to the lows of sadness.  Now, I am not running a maniac gambit, I just have the emotional roller coaster, but it seems to be a bit more obvious to me lately.

I try desperately to keep it away from others, unless I am "happy" LOL but when something other than happy I genuinely do "try" to keep that to myself, including not burdening it onto my partner.

While I am happy in my life, I am not happy with certain aspects it seems - duh, like the rest if the human race.  It is just lately that it seems to affect me more emotionally...hence this post.

I am not sure what to do with it, other than ride it out, not give in to it, and just press forward but I have to say there are times it affects my drive in how I pursue things in life.  While I have drive to do the best I can no matter what it is that I am doing, my drive to do the things wanes and waivers around.  Sort of like procrastinating but it isn't about "not" wanting to do it ... just not feeling the drive to do it. 

The emotional pull tends to feel as if I am fighting not only with myself, but with others around me with how this emotional issue affects me inside.  I am NOT actually fighting with anyone, but it is that internal struggle.

I want to succeed, I want to achieve, I want to share, I want to be a part of whatever it is that I am being a part of, but it is a struggle inside at times.  Fortunately with the medical stuff going on, yes, I am going to seek some medical advice on what might be a contributing factor. 

I do know that I need to keep on keeping on as the old adage says, and do more endorphin boosting with my hiking and such.  I tend to feel so much better when I am able to get out into the sunshine, expend some good physically challenging energy...but don't we all when we get ourselves moving.  That part is a no brainer for me, but it is obvious that it might be a touch more than that...hormones? Crap back to that again...age?  Whatever the basis, I will deal with it and pursue avenues to keep my head up, my smile going, and forge forward to do what I love to do and what to share with others.

Another mole hill trying to be a mountain...a smaller mountain to conquer. :)