Boundaries... (repost from FB Note)

That is always something that I have struggled with...having my own personal boundaries and keeping my own integrity, belief system, values, time lines, personal preferences as the priority not the secondary or tertiary or just plain the bottom of the pile to other peoples agendas.

I have always been most agreeable to most anything that was tossed out, suggested to do, or make or whatever in being a part of a team, but many a time I didn't "believe" in what was being done but I went along.  Occasionally I might offer another suggestion or say "I don't care for that but if that is what everyone else wants...okay".  Many a time I just didn't see it worth the "battle" (in my mind) to say "no" or "I don't think so"...

It took me many many many years to finally say "No" - either "I can't do that" "I don't have the time" "I can't commit to that level currently" or simply "I don't like that", etc.

The funny part (and not ha ha funny) is that when I was agreeable and all on board I "tried too hard" or when I stood up and say "No" then I was argumentative, questioning, or being a bitch.
Shit...where is the line drawn where I too can have the right to say "Yay" or "Nay" without being drawn and quartered for having my own agenda or values or integrity etc....you get the point.

I have been stunned over the years at the horrid things I have been accused of doing, or the double standard I was held to and not others... I just don't get it.
I finally had to resign myself to the idea that others needed justification in their mind to say what they did to justify what they were doing and maybe they truly believed it?  Okay...scape goat?  I don't know, but I had to be at peace in my own heart that I did the best I could with whatever I had in front of me to work with at the time.  In the end, it usually has ended up for the better for me.  Where I moved onto doing my own thing with my own ideas and my own values and I am personally happier from it in the big picture.

It still is a struggle on occasion when I hear or am reminded of something that happened and the twist that has now been spun on it, but then I remember the source and just try to put it out of my mind and get on with what I know and life in general.

We all encounter this, it is all left up to personal interpretation, and point of view - but please know my intent in life is genuinely honorable and good...but I am human and I screw up too.

Let's remember this of one another...we are all human but let's also try not to hurt others in the process of "getting ahead" and trampling over each others boundaries.  Let's keep that in mind when dealing with other human beings...we DON'T have to agree, but agreeing to disagree and come to an amicable resolution is a better solution than slicing and dicing up that other person along the way.