Self Doubts...

are running rampant in my head, but I still forced myself to do a hike that was a close simulation of the incline of the mountain without snow. :)

I hate I had to feel  like I forced myself but I did.  But I did it anyway.  I was glad I was doing it even though I was feeling uncertain along the way, but felt great once I was done.

I was in the Detroit, Oregon area this weekend, where it is beautful country.  I had done part of this hike three years ago, the last time I was there.  When I did it this time, I found out that previously we had not gone as far as we thought we had nor did we have the incline that we thought we were doing.  I did it this time and whoa! 

The first part of the hike (Spotted Owl Trail) is extremely easy with some slopes and some footbridges to cross over waterways so plenty of scenery right there on the lower elevation of around 2,200 feet above sea level.  The trail then split into two, a continuation of Spotted Owl and the Cliff Trail.  The Spotted Owl was more of a gradual climb to another connection of trails, where the Cliff Trail was more direct and had a steep part leading me in the direction I was trying to go (plus it was the trail we had done before), so of course that is the direction I opted. :)  This was a good climb and much easier to do this time, even though I have put some weight back on I still am smaller than the last time there, and my pack was about 35-40lb instead of the 5-10 three years ago. :)  I was struggling at first but it didn't take long to get my rhythm again.  That I was surprised about honestly.

I made it pretty comfortably to the Cliff overview, but I didn't go there because I wanted to make it to the Devil's Lookout off the Devil's Ridge Trail and ultimately to the Devil's Peak. (6.6 miles roundtrip and 4,625 elevation at the top) 

The weather was intermittent at best, some sun breaks, some sprinkling of rain, along with some winds, but I was prepared so I troded along, trekking poles helping me keep my pace and of course steadying me on those steps that were as tall as my legs are long. :)

There wasn't a soul on the trail anywhere, any how.  Not coming back, not going out, nothing...it was all mine.

As I started the more obvious 25% grade incline, I felt it in my legs a bit but the pack didn't even seem like it was there.  A nice change up from a bit earlier in the hike...my tummy wasn't happy so it was making hiking uncomfy too.  I did stop to take off my rainjacket since it appeared that the sun breaks were becoming more frequent and drink some water, but as I progressed I was wrong about the weather, fortunately, I was working hard enough that I was pretty comfortable without it on as long as I was moving.  So, I kept moving. :) 

The trail was amazing in its climb up the hill or whatever you want to call it, but you could see it wasn't as well traveled as the lower trail so it did become more work not only because of the incline but it wasn't as "packed" down or as wide a trail.  Devil's Ridge Trail is a good name for it because when I hit the Devil's Lookout area it was literally a ridge the trail was on a very narrow area on top of the hill.  It wasn't like I had one foot on each side of the ridge but it was narrow enough I could see down both sides of it enough. :) 

I just kept going, because I was so close...as I ascended further up the trail the weather was continually changing since now I was approaching the level of some of the clouds that were coming in.  The hills that were across the valley had snow on them, I was lucky I didn't have to trek through snow, but it was gorgeous to see it straight across on the other hills.  Obviously, this meant it was getting cooler the higher I was going, since the sun was not really out at that point. 

As I was at the Lookout heading to the Peak I started feeling something pelting me.  It wasn't hail, but it was was sleat/snow, all I could do was chuckle at the point and starting watching the weather even moreso now, but again, I kept going.

It was the most spectacular spot the top.  Whether I was actually at the Devil's Peak or within in .1 mile of it, it didn't matter because I was absolutely at the top of the hill (I think the Peak was down and a ledge area that overlooked the valley)...I wanted to be at the top of the hill and I was. :)

I took a series of panoramic photographs, which I will share once they are downloaded, but I was pleased to be at the top.  I put my jacket back on obviously and I ate my protein bar to make sure I had the energy to get back down....remember a 25% grade is just as dangerous if not more so going down. :)

The weather was starting to pick up and I paid attention.  I finished my bar, had my jacket and gloves on, put the pack back on, grabbed my poles and headed out.  Of course going down is a quicker pace than climbing but I still had to watch my step.

The winds even got to mess with me a bit.  As I was moving along, I suddenly heard what sounded like a deep low growl.  I froze and listened.  A second, softer but low growl came again.  I very slowly turned in the direction I heard this...oddly it was down hill.  I watched and listened barely breathing, another growl...but this time the growl was when two trees were slightly moving, my eyes traveled upwards to see the trees were sort of wrapping around each other, the wind blew again...the trees growled against each other as the wind blew.  I swallowed my heart and started down the trail again, of course, taking one complete look around to make sure there were only trees and me. :)

The rest of the hike was pretty uneventful other than enjoying the view in reverse, and making sure of every downward step.  My legs were starting to feel the hike in how tired they were becoming but not so tired I had to stop.  It was a wonderful hike and a good push for me.

I still have some personal self doubts but I think my head is just in a weird place right now and I have to find a way to get it back on track. :)

I did conquer that mountain, now to still working on conquering my head.  I couldn't be more pleased about the hike...I did it. :)

Gorgeous Day

I got back from Hood River late last Saturday night in order to be able to spend even the smallest amount of time with my partner. He had actually flown back into town due to a photography workshop he was attending, a brief visit but anyway.

Sunday took him back to the workshop and left me with a day to have to myself, well sort of, but I took it for me anyway. The day couldn't have been more beautiful and I knew the crowds would be out in droves. That was okay, I needed to go for a hike to enjoy the sun too. So I did.

I opted for Rattlesnake Ledge again mainly cause the hike was a good climb, easily accessed with crowds, and it is quite the view at the top and my time was limited for I had a dance class to teach too, so clock watching was imparative.

I quickly loaded up a backpack making sure this time it was 25lbs, grabbed my new trekking poles that were a present to me, and off I went. As expected the area was crawling with people and dogs, and, and, and....

I just focused on what I wanted to do and accomplish and I did it.

The hike wasn't as stressful as it could have been...YAY...but I did work....YAY! The view was exceptional this day too. The only thing I had issue with is "hiking etiquette"...it is a pet peeve of mine as it is turning out.

What is hiking etiquette you ask? It is yeilding "the right of way" to another hiker or being courteous of other hikers when on a trail...wow, manners? Imagine that.

Hiking is a fun activity as it should be for those that like it. But it is also a dangerous activity, since there are trails slightly rocky or narrow or slippery etc. Accidents do happen, people have been know to be killed if not just injured, in fact on Rattlesnake Ledge a man slipped and fell to his death from up there. Not an activity to be taken lightly. :)

So with that, I try to be very aware of other people on the trail and I always say hello or acknowledge with my eyes as I am trekking along. I even give way to those that are overtaking me because they have longer legs and "they win" that way. But, a lot of people don't do that or maybe they don't know...I don't know. I do know it is irritating, especially when people are being reckless not only with themselves but potentially with others on the trail.

One major rule is yield to those going "uphill", so that means all those people coming down very easily, let the struggling person going up...go first. :) Plus that slows down those people coming down since momentum can take over at times. :)

One of these reckless events actually caused me an injury from this last trip.
I literally got my shoulder slammed by a young man that he and his buddy had decided the "needed" to run down the trail on their way back to their car. Regardless of other hikers going up or going down...they needed to run and run around and nearly over people to accomplish this task. In the process, they were running around a family with young children, and I was coming up. There was enough room for this family and I to pass one another with out having to stop. Then out of "nowhere" two guys bolted between the family and myself and I got nailed by the second guy when he tripped on the rocks slamming into me and nearly taking me down. Neither of us fortunately tumbled but he kept going, never looking back. Even his buddy asked if he was ok, he responded and never looked back or said a word to me.
I don't have a bruise that shows but my shoulder has a tender spot. I, of course, kept going because I wasn't going to let that stop me but it didn't make for a pleasant hike at that moment.

I had to let it go in the moment and just keep focused. I regained that but it is still a bone of contention with me ... hiking etiquette.

ROCK ON!!!

Yes, I feel good nana nanana na....wow

Yes, I am thoroughly surprised at how I felt after working out last night. I felt like my old self 15lbs lighter...ok need to be 15+lbs lighter again but that is another story at the moment.

After nearly two weeks of feeling like crap or worse, after I worked out yesterday at the gym, I felt energized beyond words.

The weird part - I didn't do anything differently at the gym. ????? :/ seriously.

The only thing I can figure is my foods now.

So, in order to conquer the big mountain I have to conquer me in order to be fit as a fiddle to take on the big one - so that means figuring out what foods I can and can't have period. This is nothing "dieting" related either, a serious change in foods again. Fish and veggies (mainly veggies) seem to be what my body wants, with the occasional meat protein, then some fruits and non-fat dairies on occasion. So guess I need to pay attention even more so now.

I have a family history that suffers from digestive tract disorders and as I age I am seeing and experiencing more and more of it. I am finding that I need to limit myself to a level that I never needed to before. The adventure in this is not a fun one, it is one wrapped in weight changes, tummy discomforts, bodily discomforts as a whole, and just plain feeling miserable not only in my body but about myself on top of it, so it actually affect my overall mood too. Well, why wouldn't it, I feel uncomfy, so of course then I become less than perky - that is a given, but it does weigh into more of my self-esteem than it should.

I have always had self-esteem issues, no matter how successful I was at something, I never felt good enough, or successful enough in my ventures in life. A story that most everyone has in life, I am not special that way at all. I am better but those old triggers still seem to poke at me, when they shouldn't. I am not a child anymore and history is history, but it is how I came to be who I am, so of course they are lurking in the woodwork as it were.

This is why it is important to me to succeed in this venture.

I have a mountain to conquer...both inside and out, and based on yesterday, I might have a good start after all. Hmmmmm.... got to have bumps in the road making the destination a true success story. Makes ya want it all the more that way if you get over those bumps and it become closer to being the success story.

Nothing conquered...

but headaches and some exhaustion.

I did do some hiking this weekend like I shared but it seemed that Tuesday rolled around and my body just starting rebelling.

I haven't worked out since Monday night and that was a push for a bit. I am feeling like I am hitting walls before I have even really gotten out of the starting gate. I am not sure why either.

I know that I am not eating as good as I should yet but I think my body is telling me to knock it off NOW! I ate very healthy yesterday when I was out of bed long enough to be hungry and eat until last night then I succumbed to some processed crap. I feel like I am going to burst even yet.

Today, was strictly some yogurt and as it turned out some mixed nuts since that is all I wanted but how do I feel...like crap!

I am not sure what to do other than just cut out any processed anything that is high in sodium and such. I was fine until I ate the nuts :( but I like nuts...good sources of protein and mostly good for you fats especially when hiking, but wow, it did start to bring my headache back on.

So tonight I am going to the gym. I am going to push myself but yet be very aware of what my body says and not give in but also not go too far.

This is really becoming quite the adventure just in living day to day before I even layered on the Mountain conquering. I just want to get back to the simple day to day hike with pack feeling invigorated and alive without feeling like an old bat trying to do too much...I hate that and I don't want that at all. I really don't but I am hitting these walls.

I have to break through them. I recently had a physical and got a clean bill of health and even told I had the heart of an athlete, now I think it is a occasional workout heart...I want my athletic heart and more athletic body back regardless of my age.

So, again, I am going to the gym tonight...I HAVE to do this for me!!!!

Ramble over.

Ol'Faithful...

well, old faithful in the means that where I went to move my body was the place that I frequented daily for over a year after work to go hiking.

It is a shorter hike but definitely intense, especially getting back out on a daily basis again.

Since starting this a few days ago - making sure to get out every day, my poor legs are just trying to rebell a bit, not so bad that I will stop but they are a bit tired :) YAY!

I didn't take a pack yesterday because it was more about getting in and getting it done as quickly as possible, and to take the hardest route the park has to offer. And I did it. :)

I knew I would but I wanted to do it fast, so yes I ended up jogging about 1/3 to 1/2 of it. Okay, I cannot jog up hill so that is why only a portion of the trails were jogged. :) Plus my falling off the carb cart didn't help it. Energy wise it was great but tummy wise it SUCKED!

But I managed to push through it regardless of my tummy and the cooler air trying to suck my breathe from me.

So the last couple of days I am back on track with my foods, and of course now that I am moving every day again....I can feel a difference starting again...thank goodness!!!!

Now to keep focused, focused, focused on the goal...Mt Rainier and me. :)

Two mountains to conquer.

I have to say the psychological portion of this mountain conquering is the toughest. I find myself sabotaging myself in my head, even though I am forcing my body. I have to get the two together on a more consistent basis again.

How does one find this consistency of head and heart and drive? By, just doing it? The Fake It Till You Make It theory...maybe, for now that is where I am at I guess. :)

I'll make it...even if I am faking it at moments. ;)

GOOORRGEOUS Day!

Saturday was a busy day all unto its own with photo shoots and no shows and running errands and attending a party that night, so any hope of getting out into the woods was a lost cause.

But the next day provided an opportunity even if it was "in the city" woods. :)

Life took us into South Seattle, but left me in Seattle for most of the day before dance class that evening. That was perfect for me because that was the opportunity to go to Discovery Park and "do the loop" I didn't take a pack because I was tired and my legs were a bit wobbly as it turned out, but I did take my camera which was heavy enough that day. But I enjoyed the hike, I tried to push myself but I was actually having some issues to start with, it was about 1/2 through that I started to level out again. I am not sure what that was about or if I was just tired enough...but I am going to do another hike tonight at the "ol'faithful place" before I visit a friend.

Afterwards, I headed to the studio to teach class...a good night. :)

tired? or under-nourished?

I guess I was a bit more worn out from the night's hike in the inclimate weather than I thought, but NATURALLY Friday night was gorgeous. Sheesh.

I did go work out, only to find that I might not have "fueled" up enough but that was ok. I plowed through the eliptical cardio, then did some upper body weights for my back and arms, then off to use the 8lb non-bouncing ball to do ab work - yes, the side to side thingy with the ball as I balance on my butt...sheesh, then finally off to do another fast walk before calling it a night.

I was pooped and realized I didn't drink enough water or had not eaten enough prior to the workout. A lesson in the fueling of the body the guy from RMI spoke of when climbing Mt Rainier...wow, didn't realize it before when I did the same damn thing, but now that I understand what is happening it made total sense. Doh!

So, the training lesson of the day (which I have experienced before but didn't "know" what happened)...yes, you need to eat and drink or the body will just say "done" and quit on you.

Now the better planning of my meals will happen and timing of when to eat will happen too. Eat only when I am hungry but make sure there are small snacks or something throughout the day even if the day only consists of snacking of the proper fuels my body needs ESPECIALLY prior to a hike or workout and during said hike or workout. :)

Headspace is coming back again...YAY!

My Review of Mountain Hardwear Yuma Convertible Pants - Women's

Originally submitted at REI

Whether backpacking through Europe or through the Arizona desert, you'll be happy to have these Mountain Hardwear pants-into-pedal-pushers along.

Mountain Hardwear Yuma Convertible Pants - Women's

Huge Surprise

By Miss Pinkie Pants from Redmond, WA on 4/9/2010

5out of 5

Pros: Breathable, Warm, Lightweight, Durable, Allows Free Movement, Comfortable

Cons: Too Long

Best Uses: Casual Wear, Gym, Cold Weather

I was looking for new pants as the summer backpacking/hiking season is upon us. I had been buying other hiking pants, which I do like, but once I tried these pants on I knew I had found a much more comfortable pant to move in.

The are light weight, have enough stretch to accommodate whatever layer amount that might be required for weather conditions and they moved well with the body when going over and around things in the great outdoors. :)

I was thrilled at home much more comfortable I was in these pants. The only downfall for me is the length but being I am only 5' it is a problem I have in general, so the only I could say is...make petite lengths :) and thank goodness for the drawstring in the hem. :)

Great pant!!!!!

(legalese)

Rattlesnake, Snow, and first step...

Since making the decision to climb Mt Rainier, there have been lots of ups and downs to the attitude that has to be in place before I can climb it.

Yesterday, I made a first definitive step towards my conquering. Listening to my friends for one, finding that trigger word to help me focus on what I NEED to do for me, and make those truly first steps towards the physical challenge of getting up that mountain.

Rattlesnake Ledge was the end result in our decision when we went hiking last night. Our first choice was Mt Si, but the one problem was weather conditions and thinking possibility beyond what our bodies could do since hiking has been less than optimum lately. Didn't really want to kill myself even though I knew full well I could make it. But I did want to walk and be able to up and down stairs the next day. :)

I can go up and down stairs but yes I can feel the work in my legs from our trek last night. Sure the hike was only 4 miles roundtrip, but it was cold and snow had fallen so bits of the trail was slushy and snow covered. So, the challenges for me was the added weight on my body, then adding extra weight on my body, (I did make sure to carry a backpack but not full weight, and proper weather condition clothing), but on top of that the other challenge - I suffer from cold weather or exercise induced asthma symptoms, so I had to pace myself early on so I could breathe. I didn't have much of a struggle with the cold air, but I could feel some exertions in my chest on a couple of occasions, but I was surprised at how quickly that dissipated and I felt like myself hiking just in colder weather.

I can't say my feet were saying the same. When I hit that 2.5-3 mile marker my feet are not happy and I have pains the likes of having frost bite that is thawing out. Not good....but it eventually levels out for the most part and I can manage. I think I need to get my feet checked out though.

Anyway...the first "honest" step towards my goals has been taken.

Baby steps and one step at a time.

First thoughts...

Wow, I am really putting this out there for the world to know and see.

I had made the decision to climb Mt Rainier a couple years back but things and life and attitude got in the way.

Originally, I was prompted to climb by a partner of mine at the time, but it soon changed into a goal to achieve for my mother. I was 46 at the time and I was talking with her about this "idea" of summiting Mt Rainier. She shared with me for the first time her dream to have been a Forest Ranger. I was surprised only because I didn't remember her mentioning this before, but I knew she loved the great outdoors. At the time she shared this with her mother, the times were such that "women didn't do that" even though it was not much longer when the first woman summitted K2. My mother was disheartened because her chance of doing what she wanted to do was pretty well dashed due to her own life experiences and environment.

I tried to encourage her to try it now. She graciously chuckled and honestly said, "if it had even been 10 years ago, I would have done it, but now I am too old and I can't do the things I used to..." My heart sank for her - 10 years previous would have made her 58 and here I am 46 at that time of our talk. I knew I needed to do it for not only me, but for her and her dream that she had missed out on.

Well, here I am now 48 and I was working hard at my training until life kicked me in the gut. I didn't stop training but slowly and gradually my training started to lessen and then it just became a workout, then now it is a once a week venture to the gym.

I had attended one of the guide workshops back then when this first started and I was greatly discouraged at what I heard, which I am sure played into me "allowing" myself to dwindle in my efforts. These thoughts, however, never left my head, so I attended another workshop with the guide service I was truly more interested in. Wow, night and day.

I have a renewed interest, and energy inside that says "I can do this" but something is still trying to hold me back. I am fighting with life - the life changes that involves a new love in my life and some of the things that having another person there will toss out at you.

I have to be true to me, accountable to me, do this for me, and for my mom as a secondary wish.

I have goals, dreams, desires just like everyone else, yet it was too easy to let it get kicked away, so now the battle to conquer a Mountain starts with conquering me....

So here begins the tale of the trails, trials, and tribulations to get to the top of Mt Rainier.