Stresses...

I can honestly say that this last year, while starting out pretty good, and having moments of utter bliss, had some of the worst and most stressful moments imaginable.
Are they going away since 2011 popped its head in...no, sadly enough.

The last year was full of financial whoas, illnesses resulting in deaths, and even an unforeseen death with my own Father.

August emerged and it seemed like the flood gates opened upon us.  Much like they are literally doing in various parts of the world currently.  I digress.

To have the world spin out of control from August 19th, 2010 and still is doing so has just been more than my body, head, and spirit has been able to endure and same with my partner...he is finally hitting his wall of tolerance to stress and of course work always can add its own layer of stress onto our personal lives too.  The frustrating part is there seems to be no end truly in sight. 

The fortunate part is our personal stresses, once we push our friends and family our of our lives is relatively stressful enough but manageable (rough but still manageable)...but we don't push our friends and family away because they are an important part to our lives.  So, we take on some of their stresses in being the supportive family members we are, the supportive friends we are (and chosen family members) on how to help them in their times of need.

Thusly, we have just now compounded our stress levels to heights that we shouldn't be but there we are...another Mountain to Conquer and hope it doesn't kill us while conquering it too.

We are trying to start to refocus ourselves on what we need to do in our own lives a bit better.  Setting some boundaries  up so we can make sure to remember to be there for others but not BE THERE ALL THE TIME for others to the point we destroy ourselves.  This is the path we seem to be following and that has to stop.

The upsetting part is that people seem to need us.  People we care deeply for both in family and friends that we consider like family - the chosen family members.  We don't want to turn our backs on any of them, nor will we, but we HAVE to find that happy medium ground or we will implode.

The affects it has already shown us is how we are relating to one another....can we say not so much and negatively.
The physical effects have been taking their toll with weight gain or not achieving weight loss with the efforts in place, tunnel vision episodes, and just plain mental shut down....exploding into moments of rage.  Fortunately not AT anyone overall but just a rage explosion that normally wouldn't have happened based on the trigger.

I so much more understand how all those people, when the economic downturned happened, started ending their own lives because it literally caused them to have a mental collapse.  I truly get it now.  (Wasn't unaware of how it could happen, just didn't personally understand the mind set...but I get it now).

So...what to do?
Don't know but now we are recognizing the problem is happening for us both, now we are taking measures slowly but surely to find our way to some peace inside and finding a means to let the stresses go or at least help them lessen.

A mountain to be sure that we have to conquer....
Then the next step can move forward in life.